Relationship problems can occur in even the best relationships.
Relationships need to be managed over time and most couples will experience a few bumps in the road.
The secret to high quality relationships is learning to work through the difficult patches, putting in a little extra effort as and where necessary.
Couples who sustain a high quality relationship through time realise that they need to work at it, finding new areas of interest and common ground. New and exciting ways to spice up their sex life and not get bored and bogged down in the same old routines. Above all they need to indulge in high level communication, sometimes learning new skills to make sure their relationship really works.
Don’t let things get too bad before deciding to do something about a flagging relationship. Anticipate in advance that some things may go wrong along the way. When you notice one or both of you are getting bored and drifting apart, arguing, not paying attention or listening to what the other one says then it may be time to do something about it. Don’t get to the point where you are standing toe to toe shouting at each other!
Relationship problems can include:
- Infidelity – you may have discovered your partner or spouse is having an affair
- Frequent arguments and poor levels of communication
- One or both partners may have stopped listening to the other
- Not enough in common. Sometimes this may be due to different life stages, or a sense of having ‘outgrown’ your partner
- Lack of intimacy, no longer have sex
- Sexual identity and orientation. Some people can take a while to realise their true orientation
- Bored and in a rut – This can apply to any area of a relationship from sex to social life. Sometimes there can be an imbalance where one partner is more adventurous and want to try new things
- Mental or emotional problem like past history of abuse, ongoing anxiety, stress or depression
- Familiarity CAN breed contempt – lack of respect, possibly even leading to abusive behaviour by one or both partners
- Lack of commitment regarding shared responsibilities ie. finances, children, important decisions etc.
- Perceived lack of concern, one sided relationship – “I make all the effort”
- ‘Addictions’ such as alcohol, drugs, also including internet use, social media, porn
- Trauma/life changing event i.e.. serious or potentially fatal illness like cancer. Being involved in a serious accident and sustaining injury or disability
- Get me out of here! Sometimes differences may be irreconcilable and separation is the only option. People often need some guidance as to the best way to manage the process
As can be seen people seek relationship counselling for a wide variety of reasons. Sometimes an individual realises they themselves have a problem and seek help alone. Sometimes a person seeks help individually because their partner does not, or will not accept that a problem exists. I will often suggest couples counselling because working together on a problem can not only help to achieve resolution, but the shared process may also help bring both partners closer together.
Whether you are seeking help as a couple or individually I am here to help. Please contact me to discuss your needs and how to work to resolve the relationship problems you are experiencing.